Shadow13

10-18-08
The website hasn't been updated in a while because we've been focusing on our MySpace page. Check it out for some of the latest news and events.

1-1-08
Happy New Year. We at Shadow13 have made a resolution to eat as much chocolate ice cream as possible and not to attack people who look like the Predator (Yeah, yeah, we know. Just because you're ugly, it doesn't necessarily mean you're evil. We learned our lesson at the Stockholm show!). Anyways, just a few tips: 1) Don't bother making a resolution to work out more. That's what everybody else says and, as a result, the gyms will be packed solid for the next month or two. Wait until all those slackers fizzle out, then you'll have the entire gym to yourself. 2) No, you can't make a resolution to not make a resolution. That kind of paradox will bend the fabric of space-time, causing the universe to implode and the end of life as we know it. 3) With the world as it is, we should probably all make resolutions to not be jerks and to actually be decent human beings. Showing a little kindness, consideration and compassion every once in a while would make the world a much better place. Think about that while you're shooting people's eyes out with bottle rockets.

12-25-07
Merry Christmas. May you get all the toys and goodies that you wished for. Just watch out for lead paint.

12-1-07
We apologize for our lack of communication and relative silence over the past few months. We've been in and out of the studio working on a new album and we've been concentrating our efforts on our work. In addition to our busy schedule, a few of our members have been traveling around the world on various assignments, but they've finally returned and now we're all back together at the base. Expect to hear more from us over the next few months.

7-7-07
The new Transformers movie hits theaters today! We saw it and we loved it! Giant robots have always been a big influence of ours, so we thought the movie was awesome. Optimus Prime, Megatron, Jazz, Starscream...all your favorite transformers make an appearance is this ridiculously action packed movie. Go see it today and support the franchise that owns you! Transformers...More than meets the eye!

7-4-07
Happy 4th of July. Let's celebrate the United States' independence by shooting somebody's eye out with firecrackers.

6-17-07
Today is Father's Day, the day when we remember and pay tribute to our fathers. Make sure to thank your father for having sexual intercourse with your mother and for whipping you with an extension cord when you were little. Well, that's IF you have a father. Today, more and more kids grow up in single-parent families without a father. They end up turning into thugs and listening to rap. That's why fathers are important: they keep you in line and prevent you from developing a bad taste in music. So show your appreciation for your father by getting him something that's actually cool and that he’d truly appreciate. No, the neck-tie and all-in-one tool screwdriver set you gave him last year were not cool. What your father really wants this year are T-shirts from our merch store and concert tickets to our upcoming shows. So make daddy happy and buy him lots of manly Shadow13 gear.

5-13-07
Ah, Mother's Day, the day when we are reminded that we originally came from our mothers' vaginas. This grotesque concept has scarred millions of men across the world and made them fear women. It reminds us of our fragile mortality and makes us rethink our deluded notions of physical and emotional independence. Let Freud wrap his head around that. The Oedipus Complex has got nothing on Vaginal Birth Complex. Then, to add insult to injury, we're forced to buy sappy Hallmark cards and make sentimental long distance calls, which is like pulling teeth. So be good boys and girls and tell your mum that she's loved, just try not to envision yourself being squeezed through her lady bits.

5-5-07
It's Cinco de Mayo. Celebrate by drinking lots of cerveza. Salud!

5-4-07
Spiderman 3 hits theaters today. Go see it and show your support for Shadow's personal hero and role model, Venom, who happens to be one of the most badass villains ever. My spider sense is tingling!

4-13-07
We hope everybody is enjoying Friday the 13th. It's a particularly fun day, because everybody is always on pins and needles waiting for something bad to happen. Will something bad happen to you today? Maybe, maybe not. If you manage to survive this Friday the 13th, you'll have another chance to tempt fate in July.

3-23-07
The new TMNT movie comes out today. We've seen it and it's awesome! Go see it and support the turtles. If they make enough money off the movie, they'll probably want to do another one.

3-1-07
Yeah! RPM Challenge is over, so now we can go back to living our normal, lazy lives. We're a little burnt out from recording, so don't expect a whole lot more from us over the next few months. We've got a handful of songs that still need lyrics, so we'll at least try to finish that up.

2-8-07
Anna Nicole Smith died. That's surprising and tragic.

2-2-07
Happy Shadow13 Day! Last year, we came up with a revelation to celebrate Groundhog Day as Shadow13 Day. It may not make a lot of sense, but think about it: each year Punxsutawney Phil comes out of his hole looking for his shadow. If he sees his shadow, then we're in for another 6 weeks of winter. If he doesn't see his shadow, that means we're in for an early spring. So here's the catch: If Phil sees his shadow, we'll play a show in the evening. If he doesn't see his shadow, we won't play a show. It's as simple as that. Hokey? Hell yes, but it should be fun. So this year's verdict is no shadow, no show. Sorry, but blame it on Phil. Thanks for nothing, Phil! Oh well, we'll try again next year. Meanwhile, enjoy the rest of Shadow13 Day and look forward to an early spring.

2-1-07
RPM Challenge kicks off today. Wish us luck.

1-31-07
We're participating in the RPM Challenge, which begins tomorrow. We've got 28 days to record 10 songs or 35 minutes of music. We'll be holing ourselves up in the Red Room, where we'll be writing and recording material for the next month. So, for the next 28 days we probably won't be updating the site as often.

1-2-07
Congratulation to Shadow, who got married today. The ceremony took place on a beach in Key West during sunset. Now that he's hitched, his life will change forever. We want to welcome him to a life of domestic enslavement. He'll probably be so busy washing dishes, ironing clothes and massaging his wife's feet that we'll probably never see him at band practice again. He was a good man, we'll miss him.

12-31-06
Happy New Year, suckers. Make sure not to shoot your eye out with a bottle rocket. We'll never forget the time that Shadow got food poisoning on New Year's eve a couple of years ago. He was out puking in the streets as he was lighting firecrackers. Dumbass. Anyways, make sure to come up with a ridiculous New Year's resolution that you can't possibly stick to. Then, beat yourself up for failing to reach your goals.

12-25-06
Merry Christmas. Make sure to keep milk and cookies out for Santa. Then, after you've lured him down the chimney, trap him in a titanium mesh net and dope him up on elephant tranquilizers. Be careful, Clause is a crafty fellow. Don't let his lies deceive you. He may tell you he knows whether you've been naughty or nice, but that's impossible. Unless he has a network of Elvin spies outnumbering the CIA, nobody can be that omniscient. Guilty of 6 trillion counts of breaking and entering and trespassing, don't let this repeat offender escape. Be merciless if you must.

11-23-06
It's Thanksgiving again. The epitome of gluttony, it's an excuse for red-blooded Americans to gorge on turkey and watch football. The men relax while the women cook and clean: a perfect example of 21st century gender equality. Never mind all the poor and starving people in the world, it's our god given right as Americans to stuff our faces beyond reason. We eat because we can. And whatever we don't eat, we throw away. The people who can't afford to fill their bellies with sweet potatoes and cornbread are obviously lazy and undeserving; it's their own fault they can't afford to eat like kings. Our ancestors worked so hard to rid the Native Americans from this land so that we could have a nice safe place to flaunt our fortune. Let us give thanks to the lord for the wealth and power he has bestowed upon us. Amen.

11-10-06
New wallpapers have been added in the multimedia section.

10-31-06
Happy Halloween, you wretched little monkeys! Make sure to brush your teeth after eating all that candy, you don't want your pearly whites to rot away and leave you looking like a toothless hillbilly. Many extremely religious groups think Halloween is the Devil's day, when demons roam the earth and Satan has his way with hapless trick-or-treaters. You know what we say? Bullshit. Halloween is just a time for people to let loose, have fun and be creative. Yes, some stupid people take it to the next level and sacrifice little puppies, but that's pretty extreme. It's ok to be religious and to have your own ideals, but lighten up and let people have some fun without pushing your beliefs on them. Dressing up in a tacky costume, going door to door and begging for candy is harmless fun. Disclaimer: Shadow13 promotes safe trick-or-treating, but the not the senseless sacrifice of cute little animals. Oh yeah, save us some KitKat bars, they're so yummy!

10-19-06
As you know, we're currently in the midst of recording our new album, which is turning out to be much darker and more rockin' than ever. We managed to momentarily escape from the cavernous bowls of our studio to post some new demo material on our discography page. Keep in mind that it's rough and the final product will likely be drastically different. Check it out.

09-11-06
Terrorists are cowardly bastards who hide behind the fears of the weak. Let's use the tragic events of 9-11 as an excuse to better ourselves as a people, culture, country and society. Before we can find fault in others, we must first find the fault in ourselves. Once we clean up our own act, we can focus on cleaning up the rest of the world.

09-4-06
Alas, Steve Irwin (a.k.a. The Corocodile Hunter) has passsed away. He was a great environmentalist and conservationist, who taught the world many things. Australia has lost a national hero and the world has lost an important icon. He was one of our personal rolemodels and he will be missed.

06-6-06
According to Christian doctrine, 666 is the mark of the beast. Therefore, this is a most unusual day and is certainly an ill omen for those who fear the birth of the Anti-Christ. Like many people thought the world would end in the year 2000, many believe today will be the end of life as we know it. Forecast for this afternoon: partly cloudy with an 80% chance of apocalypse. Enjoy it while you can, because 666 won't roll around again for a long time.

04-1-06
April Fools prank #37815: Put red or purple Kool-Aid powder in the showerhead. When somebody tries to take a shower, they'll also get a complimentary hair and skin dye. Cheers!

03-17-06
Happy St. Patrick's Day. Go drink some green beer and puke in the streets with your drunk frat-boy buddies. Remember: ugly people will try to get your attention by pinching you for not wearing green. Don't let that happen, wear green at all costs!

03-13-06
We just finished building our new recording studio. Now we just need to get in there and start cranking out some new material. Stay tuned for more updates.

02-14-06
Happy Valentine's Day. Make sure to eat lots and lots of chocolate before your fat-ass significant other can get to it. Also, nothing says "I love you" like a little stuffed bear holding a heart that says "I love you." But whatever you do, don't believe the little candy hearts with the messages written on them. Unlike fortune cookies, they lie.

02-02-06
Happy Groundhog Day. Each year, the sleepy little groundhog pokes his head out of his burrow to see if spring has come. If he sees his shadow, that means we're in store for 6 more weeks of winter. Since this is a celebration that has to do with shadows, Shadow13 has decided to get in on the action and make February 2nd the official Shadow13 day.

01-01-06
Happy New Year! Drink lots of champagne and make resolutions you know you can't keep.

12-25-05
Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays? Who cares about the meaning behind the holiday as long as we get lots of cool presents?! This holiday is an example of what happens when Christianity and capitalism collide. Get loaded on eggnog and tear open those gifts. This year, I asked Santa for a Siberian Tiger.

10-31-05
Happy Halloween! Now you can finally dress like a fruitcake and get away with it. Don't come to my door Trick-or-Treating without a costume or you'll get beaten like a redheaded stepchild. I don't put-out unless you do. Don't forget to check your candy for razor blades and broken glass.

09-02-05
After a grueling year of live shows and touring, the group is going to take a short break to relax and recuperate. After the vacation, we'll be back in the studio writing new material and recording a new album. Thanks to everybody who supported us while we were out on the road, we'll see you again soon!

07-15-05
Due to a hectic touring schedule and the fact that Kage, who is computer illiterate, insists on doing it all by himself, the webpage is taking a little longer than expected. Just remember, patience is a virtue and ninjas do not make good web designers.

05-22-05
The Shadow13 website is finally up and running. There will be more construction over the next few weeks, but expect it to be fully functional very soon. Check back often for updates.